boneofsword | Aefenglom Inbox

Oh, yeah. That. [ Cú hums with understanding as he remembers the event. That day he wasn't on his best, he went out to try and do something that he forgot about anything else, including himself, and it... kind of backfired

It didn't take much longer and he went down with the Cwyld infection, caught on one of those patrol routes, and rest is history ]

Wasn't my finest hour, but being honest, I thought we patched it out. My bad. [ He doesn't hold grudges unless they're truly well earned and is honest in that he already threw that on the 'forgotten' pile. But just because he could do that, doesn't mean Archer did. And he intends to make up for it ] So what do you need?

Neither was mine. [it's a honest admission, and one that bothers Archer as well. News about the disappearances did bring the whole nightmare back. All they've been through, all that he wished to protect his Bonded from, all that seemed to be forgotten and that he tried to distance himself from.

Even when he tries to curb the protectiveness, respecting Cú as a warrior and as a partner, Archer can't deny a certain instinct to keep nearby in case of danger.]

I'm not sure if we did. Not talking about it won't make it disappear.

[ In Cú's book, it is best to not dwell on the past too much. But he knows that if one can't move on, it turns into poison. So he wants to do whatever's in his power to help Archer process whatever he needs. ]

Then let's talk. [ He breathes out softly ] Or do you wish to go at it a different way?

[That makes Archer chuckle and lean closer, his grey eyes brightened by amusement.]

Cú. [he murmurs with affection, then sighs softly.] I do wish to talk.

[He stays silent for awhile, his hand resting gently on Witch's neck. Touching his Bonded helps him to focus, and the closeness comforts him.]

I tend to get overprotective about you.

[ Well, there it goes. Out in the open. Cú stays close before he tries to slip out of the touch. ]

I know. It's part of your current nature, no? You can't really help it.

[ And he can't voice properly what it makes him feel. He likes being treasured, more than he'd want to admit— but he bristles whenever his competency and strength might be put into question by it. They've been dancing on that line, and Archer has always did best to not cross the line. ]

[It's been a long time coming. Archer allows his Bonded to slip free, understanding that Cú may need some distance during this talk.]

You're right, I can't.

[It's not that easy to talk about. Archer has spent a lot of time mulling it over and over and trying to gauge the possible reactions.]

I have been trying to curb it. Focus on simply guarding your back during the battle. [a fond smile splays on his lips as his tone conveys the admiration for his partner. He's come to understand Caster's side of it a bit better, and hops it will be enough.] You're a capable warrior first and foremost, and I respect that. No one can stop you from standing proudly in the front lines.

[ It's instinctual, finding that distance. Not too far away, it's not a rejection. It's just asserting where he ends and his Bonded space begins. ]

You don't have to butter me up, Emiya. [ He says, but there is no hiding across the Bond that part of him really likes the compliments. There's also a small suspicion where it might be leading, though.

Archer had to deny what he is to make this all work, isn't that what he's saying? It's painful to consider, but he is ready for that to hit ] If you think it's not going to work, you don't have to cushion it. I can take whatever you decide to dish out.

[For some time he's been figuring it out, forcing himself to consider each and every possibility. It's the part of him that stays the same, that calm analysis of his own reactions and thoughts. Archer runs a hand through his hair with a sigh.]

I'm not trying to flatter you, it's what I think and what I know about you. [he glances at his Bonded, grey eyes troubled.] I'm trying to find a middle ground here. Not rushing to your side during the fight because I trust you.

[A breath or two before he continues.]

As a Dragon I want to keep my Treasure safe. Thus I have to accept that my Treasure doesn't belong in a cage but where he wishes to go. As a warrior I understand and respect your need to fight your own battles, be it alone or in company. [a hint of amusement tugs at his lips.] For me a Treasure isn't a thing to keep guarded and hidden. Treasures have freedom to make their own choices, take their own paths and decide if they want me at their side.

It took me some time to figure it out. To learn how to fight by your side, and to shield you only when necessary.

[ Cú paces around, all in the spot. Not going further than an arbitrary distance. If anything he gets back closer, as he sits down next to Archer again. Thigh pressed against thigh, simple touch once again enhancing their connection.

Analysis, that's what Archer is known for, isn't it? But this dissection of one's feelings and needs feels almost clinical, detached. ]

You sound like you're more likely to keep your heart in a cage, rather than nurture it. [ He lies his head on Archer's shoulder, the concern with melancholy seeping into their Bond. ]

[This gesture disarms Archer, makes him lean towards his Bonded and rest cheek on his hair. Feelings reaching him through their connection make him unable to speak. It takes him a few tries to find his voice again and it sounds a bit hoarse and quieter.]

It's not as easy. I'm used to protecting, so my first instinct is to shield others. Moreso when it's someone dear to me. It's where things turn a bit tricky. [Archer reaches to caress knuckles of Caster's hand.] You can be damn reckless sometimes, but it doesn't change the fact that you're a seasoned warrior, capable of surviving on your own. Thus I chose to fight by your side, figuring out when it's safe to give you a hand and when to just focus on the fight.

[ Well, they're not that different on that front. Being a shield. Funny, huh? Though Cú's way of being a shield contains more sharp pointy edges than being a protective wall. Still works. ]

Were someone to target you and I saw the attack coming, I would have protected you too. That's part of "fighting together". Fighting with someone you trust to get your back.

[ From the sound of it, they should be on the same page. And yet, they seemingly are not. ]

But you know, you can't be everywhere. And that's okay. As part of every fight, there are winners and there are losers—

I know. It's not quite what I mean.

[Archer huffs, messing blue hair. What he's been saying is the root of his feelings towards Caster. What he wants to say is the cause of their miscommunication.] As a Dragon and as who I am now I respect you— your strength and your wit, your pride and your skill. So don't think I slight you when I think you may need company.

[Another huff.]

Neither is my intention whenever I act a bit protective.

[ Caster makes a sound as his hair is messed fondly by dragon's hand. It feels nice, but hey, you are also ruining his styling! Putting the bangs all over his face again ]

I— don't? [ He responds in turn, putting his hands to use and mess Archer's hair instead ] I don't think you slight me when you offer me company— the hell? Do you really think I don't enjoy having you around?

[Archer doesn't really mind Cú messing his bangs, even if affection on their link contains a hint of exasperation.]

I mean then, not now. [he clarifies with a bit of awkwardness.] You've been angry after I got protective— and I felt protective not because you may be in danger but because you've been hurt.

[ Ah, they're getting there, they're getting somewhere. Cú leaves Archer's hair in peace, and remains silent for a moment. Cogs of memories rotating, wondering. Trying to find words, really. ]

I know. I knew. [ He says finally. All casual ease, even the memories weight on him ] I wasn't in a good place that time, and couldn't appreciate your gesture. It was what I didn't know I needed, and thus I resisted—

[ He knows his words then hurt Archer. In hindsight, his presence helped, and the simple, caring gesture meant the world to him. But he doesn't regret or finds mistakes in being firm back then. Sometimes there just isn't enough of him, he feels ]

If anything like this comes up again, maybe we could agree for something ahead of time?

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