boneofsword | Aefenglom Inbox

[It's true that Cú doesn't have to say it, since he can feel it through the Bond. Archer enjoys it as much as he does.

The whole Chaldea explanation makes him wonder about the circumstances. It doesn't sound like ordinary summoning. Magic generators to supply Servants, summoning system on such scale, it all requires a lot of resources and research. Everything hints at dire situation that requires extraordinary means.

With a sigh Archer shakes his head to banish such thoughts. There's no use in guessing what future will bring. Fate doesn't change its course.]

Sounds good. If there's enough time to spend it on simple, everyday things, and Servants can enjoy something mundane it's a rare gift.

[He glances at the globe with Fuyuki bridge, then focuses on braiding his lover's hair. Such a simple task and a simple pleasure, a mundane moment he never allowed himself to have during his life. Warmth, care, love.]

[ There's a hint of curiosity that is then forced to be withdrawn. Huh. It's not the first time that happens. As if Archer was stopping him from... what? Hoping too much? Asking too much? As if he was afraid that knowledge could hurt him.

Instead of letting it slide Caster asks ]

Hey, Emiya—

[ You know it's serious when the names comes out ]

Does it bother you? Talking about it.

[Archer pauses for a moment but he soon continues braiding as he sorts his thoughts out. He doesn't withdraw from their Bond, letting his lover know he's considering his reply.]

No, not really. [he answers after some time, voice thoughtful. With a soft sigh he adds.] I'm not used to hope. My situation is, or has been until now, devoid of hope.

It's tough to start believing in something again.

[ The soft, gentle ministrations make him relax, almost melt. But the topic brings back some of the tension again. Hope is a difficult subject. Something that could easily be trampled. Hopelessness is an endless gray horizon of resignation and indifference, why do anything at all if everything ends in failure? ]

Hope is what we believe to be greater than ourselves. [ Caster starts slowly as if he's quoting someone ] Without it, we believe we are nothing.

[ A hum ]

Perhaps that other you from a different time, found in that place. Between snowy mountains. Maybe because you got to see what "nothing" really looks like.

[It's a bit easier to talk about it when they're so close together and he can feel the warmth of his lover's body, feel the silky hair under his touch. Something that anchors him in the present time.]

Perhaps I have been summoned again by then, finding out that my future still holds something that I can look forward to. [he's trying to style Caster's hair into a waterfall braid, working slowly. It's elegant but also fits his lover's typical look.]

Sometimes a spark of light can blind you if you stay too long in the darkness.

[ Archer sure likes that comparison, and it sends shivers down Caster's spine, as it reminds him of what happened at the beginning of the year. He's growing to dislike that metaphor. ]

Oh fine, I can get the hint. [ He sighs and angles his head back. Very much would rather focus on the fingers in his hair.... though he does start to wonder what kind of hairstyle he will end with ] So it doesn't bother you, but you're also not interested.

[For some reason his lover's words ring true, and Archer takes a moment to consider. The shiver makes him reach out through their link with warmth and a hint of apology. Unfortunate choice of words.]

I apologize. You're right, my dear witch, it's something that the current me may not remember or not experience at all. [he hesitates, gently rubbing Caster's neck and shoulders.] I'm much more interested in here and now.

[ That he can understand all too well. Archer is a man that prefers to bury his past, he noticed that already. Unless it's extreme duress he won't really share.

Still, sometimes, rarely, he does share. And the very act of sharing is another part of forging a connection ]

Still— that's the only story I could tell. All others you already know.

[Archer hums thoughtfully as he continues working on his lover's hairstyle. So he's sending mixed signals, isn't he. Gently he starts rubbing Caster's shoulder.]

I want to hear all your stories. While it's true that I know your story, it lacks the most important part. No one but you can speak about your loved ones, about their smiles, the joy that you shared.

[ Cu leans into the touch, but there's a brief flicker of uncertainty on their Bond. Archer made it clear he does not want to hear about Chaldea, as for the memories of his life... he's good leaving it behind. He's more comfortable talking about them now, but it feels strange to crow tales of own accomplishments, or failures.

Chaldea though, that's more immediate. Especially with the things he had learned, concerns he has. Sometimes he wants to share them with someone as well. ]

They won't be the ones I will be returning to, though. [ If there really is something like returning for them, Servants. But few seem to think of that possibility. Some might long for that. ] I respect your choice—

[ He says and finally moves away from the comforting warmth, long strands of hair slipping away from Archer's fingers ]

But things related to Chaldea weigh on me. I would appreciate if you could hear me out someday, when you're ready.

Cú, wait. [Archer catches his wrist, hold gentle.] I worded it wrong, and I apologize.

[He'd never meant for his words to be taken such way. It's true that he has no wish to learn about himself in Chaldea, but for his Bonded it's part of his story.]

While I have no wish to learn about my own future, Chaldea is a part of your story. This is what I want to hear if you're willing to talk about it.

[ Caster turns around to flick Archer's forehead, his mouth twisting as if he tried not to smile. It's kind of cute when Archer's sulky. But Caster also feels the genuine worry over the Bond, and that he wants to chase away.

He radiates soothing understanding across the link. There there, dragon boy ]

Well, if that's the case, you're gonna regret it one day. I will talk for hours if you let me.

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