[Caster's temple hounds aren't real in the flesh and blood sense, so why would Lucky ever have to grow? Ginia watches her sniff around the room before looking at Archer.]
[Her question makes Archer avert his eyes for a moment. It still hurts, a bit less because of the time that passed, but it does. Somehow he gets the feeling that all of his relationships are going to end this way, that he's going to lose everyone that he cares for.]
I'm managing. [he answers, then shakes his head with a sight.] No, that's not the real answer. I've been thinking a lot, and I want to apologize for hurting you unintentionaly. I was trying to say that temporary separation will do us some good, and that trying other ways will give you a chance to figure out what you want for yourself.
[Ginia freezes a little, blinking owlishly at Archer. It's all very sudden and a lot coming from him and she wonders how long he's been thinking about that. It's strange, him apologizing when she was the one who broke things.]
You don't need to apologize.
[She approaches the table, unwraps the bento box to give her hands something to do. Time and space to figure out what she wants. She's still not any closer to figuring that out. Her hands still as she stares down at the carefully packed meal, so cute and filled with all her favorites. Archer does nothing in halves.
Her smile is strained as she forces herself to look at him.]
I had a dream about you. I don't remember much but...
[She remembers a sense of crushing sadness when she woke up, the feeling that if he left, it'd be bad.]
[Archer knows what she's talking about, that odd disjointed feeling of dreams that he doesn't truly remember, and meeting Ginia there.]
I had a dream too, and I remember that we've met.
[Then comes the question and it's not an easy one for him to answer. It takes him awhile to reply as he considers it, much more at ease with giving her the honest answer than avoiding it. Ginia must have her reason to ask, and she deserves honesty.]
I think so. [he says finally.] I have a place to return to and people that I care about that also care about me. I have a purpose that is more than just being a useful tool.
[He has a feeling that she will understand what does he mean.]
[Ginia nods at his reply, a slightly more genuine smile flickering. She's glad for that and she understands what he means. They are dedicated, devoted, and it makes them good shinki, but at the cost of what?]
Don't leave, Archer. Stay here and be happy, please.
[The words spill out. It's foolish, it's silly, it's not like they can choose who stays or goes or stay by will alone. But maybe, what if they could? She smiles and it hurts. Regal presses against her leg and she gives her head a brief scratch.]
[Archer's expression softens. For all the differences they are really alike. Having a purpose, a direction to follow is important. Without it they're adrift.
He glances aside at her words. Awkward turtle it is.]
I'm not planning to leave.
[Giving an empty promise is not his style.]
How about you, Ginia? Does being here make you happy?
[There are two different questions to answer as he turns the question back on her. Ginia buys herself time to think as she grabs a piece of fried chicken and eats it. The batter is crisp and light, the meat tender and moist, perfectly seasoned. It's as she remembers and misses.]
There are people I care about and who care about me. I have a safe place to sleep. Things to direct my time into.
[Didn't they talk once about the difference between a place to stay and a place to call a home? It was easier to decide then, back when the rooms were colder and more sterile.]
But if you mean being here, in Ebisu's temple....
[She leans on the back of a chair, takes in the conference room.]
The shinki are kind and have gone out of their way to make me feel welcomed. I enjoy their company. The work is hard, but I enjoy the challenge and the variety is engaging. I'm not unhappy, but it's different.
Different is different, not necessarily good or bad. Other shinki from our generation work part-time here, but I am the only one named by Ebisu. I have to be careful of what I say. And the long hours and amount of work is tough at times.
[She's tired, everyone here is tired, but so it goes when you're vastly understaffed and few people come in to help.]
The work is important and I greatly respect everyone here. The perspective is nice.
[It's a different experience,a chance to see the other side of godly work. A different perspective.]
I miss you. [he admits finally. It's hard for him to say so, to speak about his own feelings. It would be much easier to say that others miss her, but that wouldn't be fair.]
I think that I can understand some of your reasons. [Archer takes a small breath. There's something that he thinks she will understand, given their similarities.] If I had no skills aside combat ones I would feel completely adrift. It's different when there's something else that you can do, that gives you a clear direction. Finding it takes time and different experiences.
[Ginia's hand grips the back of the chair in front of her when he admits he misses her. It's one thing for him to mention in in a text, another for him to admit in person. He's a private, guarded individual so the admission means all the more. Another time she might have hugged him, kissed him, but that time is gone.
So there's only a smile, a silent acknowledgement of his feelings, hands releasing from the chair when she's certain she won't do something incredibly foolish as she listens to him.]
It turns out I'm good at math. And I know a few languages well enough to translate documents. I'm good at filing too. [The latter most perhaps isn't surprising; he's seen her organize information, he knows how meticulous she is.] And I guess all those photos I've taken mean I'm useful with photography too.
[So... she's finding things to do. She's figuring it out. They're not skills Caster needs. That's fine, but there's the sinking feeling the gulf between them will only widen further.
But what about her and Archer? "I hope we can still be friends", he said and she wonders if that's truly all he wants or if he misses more?]
Archer do--
[Does she want to know if it's the latter? Is it even her place to ask? He has Caster already, always will, hopefully.
Ginia smiles and changes her mind and signs instead:]
[It's a habit of his to not look at others when he admits his feelings, so Archer doesn't notice the tension. He looks back to Ginia when he catches her movement in periphery of his vision.
It's much safer to listen to her describe all the new experiences and skills than think too much about his own feelings.]
That's great. Never believe when someone tells you that you're good for only one thing. Even if it's your own mind. [he says it half-jokingly, but he does mean it. After all, he should have noticed it much sooner.
Ginia's request is sudden, but Archer nods and smiles. Like a proper gentleman he pulls the chair out for her.]
[She is her own worst enemy. It's difficult, but a thing worth remembering, as much as she doesn't need to take on every burden by herself.
Ginia smiles as she sits down and lets him push her chair in, a tiny twist of feeling at his charming ways. Lucky scrambles over and tries to climb up. She'll need to lint roll her suit before she returns to work, but it's worth it as she hoists Lucky onto her lap.
For a few minutes, Ginia doesn't say much as she eats with him, enjoying the peaceful silence and private moment. But eventually, Ginia waves her hand at him to get his attention.]
Caster told me he found cursed charms at shrines in Ireland, but only at ones represented by someone in the Far Shore.
[It's a familiar, comfortable moment of sharing food and dogs making puppy eyes at their humans. They often did so during work--
Ginia's words bring Archer back to reality.]
Right, he sent me photos. Their influence reaches so far. [he pauses.] It's another argument towards at least one god or shinki aiding the leader or leaders of the cult.
I'm more interested in what is their goal. Everything so far is planned too well, and hints at a lot of knowledge about the Heavens as well as humans. They hide their tracks well.
[Archer's frown deepens. It's like putting together a puzzle with only a few pieces in hand, while the big picture is still unrecognizable. Suddenly he turns to Ginia.]
[There's a sudden change of topic. Given what they were talking about previously, Ginia frowns slightly.]
You better not be implying what it sounds like you're implying.
[There's the defensive attitude Archer probably knows, the protective streak that runs deep. She glares a little before softening. Archer isn't a fool. There are far better suspects around.]
I went to him back at the start of January seeking out information about the masked ayakashi Shun mentioned at Zelda's meeting and the demon we were investigating. His shinki were guarded and reluctant to get involved only because of the suspicion the Heavens already cast their way and they didn't want to get Ebisu involved. Ebisu, however, was insistent they led me their support because humans were already involved and hurt and he wouldn't stand for that.
He's a child in many ways, but he cares deeply about protecting humans. He takes his role seriously, and I also trust the shinki he surrounds himself with.
[Archer meets her glare with a level look. He doesn't really suspect Ebisu; it's too obvious, especially with him already getting executed on Heavens' orders. There's too much pointing to him to consider him seriously. His shinki, on the other side... who knows what games the gods play between themselves and how far their influence reaches. Even with the social stigma tied to nora he doesn't dismiss a possibility so easily.]
I'm not implying anything. From all the outsiders you're living here, and are observant enough to notice small details. [he sighs and shakes his head. There's something else that he wants to ask.] Does he not mind nora?
[Ginia pauses for a moment, debating how to answer Archer's question. For all that's happened, she still trusts Archer enough and knows he isn't careless with information. He also wouldn't judge Ebisu's shinki for being nora.]
All his shinki are nora. Many of them for reasons beyond their control, but still stigmatized all the same.
[There's a briefest flash of surprise at her reply. Archer isn't going to judge anyone for their choices, though. After all, it is not a decision made lightly.]
That's surprising, given the Heavens stance on nora. I was worried- [a pause, but then he continues with a sigh.] -that they may look down on you for choosing several gods. I'm glad it's not the case.
It's largely an open secret among the old gods that Ebisu employs nora as I understand it.
[And they've suffered for it. Takami's dream is a haunting eye-opener to why Ebisu's temple is so woefully understaffed, a thing unlikely to change any time soon. For a second, she's angry at the Heavens, but her expression settles fast.]
I'm advised to keep things to myself in public though. A shinki of the new generation serving an old God of Fortune is alarming enough without me being a nora.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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So you've noticed. [Archer looks at her sharply.] I've been wondering about it myself.
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[Caster's temple hounds aren't real in the flesh and blood sense, so why would Lucky ever have to grow? Ginia watches her sniff around the room before looking at Archer.]
How have you been?
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I'm managing. [he answers, then shakes his head with a sight.] No, that's not the real answer. I've been thinking a lot, and I want to apologize for hurting you unintentionaly. I was trying to say that temporary separation will do us some good, and that trying other ways will give you a chance to figure out what you want for yourself.
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You don't need to apologize.
[She approaches the table, unwraps the bento box to give her hands something to do. Time and space to figure out what she wants. She's still not any closer to figuring that out. Her hands still as she stares down at the carefully packed meal, so cute and filled with all her favorites. Archer does nothing in halves.
Her smile is strained as she forces herself to look at him.]
I had a dream about you. I don't remember much but...
[She remembers a sense of crushing sadness when she woke up, the feeling that if he left, it'd be bad.]
Are you happy here, Archer? Truly?
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I had a dream too, and I remember that we've met.
[Then comes the question and it's not an easy one for him to answer. It takes him awhile to reply as he considers it, much more at ease with giving her the honest answer than avoiding it. Ginia must have her reason to ask, and she deserves honesty.]
I think so. [he says finally.] I have a place to return to and people that I care about that also care about me. I have a purpose that is more than just being a useful tool.
[He has a feeling that she will understand what does he mean.]
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Don't leave, Archer. Stay here and be happy, please.
[The words spill out. It's foolish, it's silly, it's not like they can choose who stays or goes or stay by will alone. But maybe, what if they could? She smiles and it hurts. Regal presses against her leg and she gives her head a brief scratch.]
I'm happy you're happy. I really am.
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He glances aside at her words. Awkward turtle it is.]
I'm not planning to leave.
[Giving an empty promise is not his style.]
How about you, Ginia? Does being here make you happy?
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There are people I care about and who care about me. I have a safe place to sleep. Things to direct my time into.
[Didn't they talk once about the difference between a place to stay and a place to call a home? It was easier to decide then, back when the rooms were colder and more sterile.]
But if you mean being here, in Ebisu's temple....
[She leans on the back of a chair, takes in the conference room.]
The shinki are kind and have gone out of their way to make me feel welcomed. I enjoy their company. The work is hard, but I enjoy the challenge and the variety is engaging. I'm not unhappy, but it's different.
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Different in a good or a bad way? [his tone is light, but the qquestion is serious. 'Not unhappy' doesn't mean that she has found happiness here.]
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[She's tired, everyone here is tired, but so it goes when you're vastly understaffed and few people come in to help.]
The work is important and I greatly respect everyone here. The perspective is nice.
[She pauses to pick at the food again]
But I miss everything with you three too.
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I miss you. [he admits finally. It's hard for him to say so, to speak about his own feelings. It would be much easier to say that others miss her, but that wouldn't be fair.]
I think that I can understand some of your reasons. [Archer takes a small breath. There's something that he thinks she will understand, given their similarities.] If I had no skills aside combat ones I would feel completely adrift. It's different when there's something else that you can do, that gives you a clear direction. Finding it takes time and different experiences.
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So there's only a smile, a silent acknowledgement of his feelings, hands releasing from the chair when she's certain she won't do something incredibly foolish as she listens to him.]
It turns out I'm good at math. And I know a few languages well enough to translate documents. I'm good at filing too. [The latter most perhaps isn't surprising; he's seen her organize information, he knows how meticulous she is.] And I guess all those photos I've taken mean I'm useful with photography too.
[So... she's finding things to do. She's figuring it out. They're not skills Caster needs. That's fine, but there's the sinking feeling the gulf between them will only widen further.
But what about her and Archer? "I hope we can still be friends", he said and she wonders if that's truly all he wants or if he misses more?]
Archer do--
[Does she want to know if it's the latter? Is it even her place to ask? He has Caster already, always will, hopefully.
Ginia smiles and changes her mind and signs instead:]
Sit down, eat with me.
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It's much safer to listen to her describe all the new experiences and skills than think too much about his own feelings.]
That's great. Never believe when someone tells you that you're good for only one thing. Even if it's your own mind. [he says it half-jokingly, but he does mean it. After all, he should have noticed it much sooner.
Ginia's request is sudden, but Archer nods and smiles. Like a proper gentleman he pulls the chair out for her.]
Of course.
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Ginia smiles as she sits down and lets him push her chair in, a tiny twist of feeling at his charming ways. Lucky scrambles over and tries to climb up. She'll need to lint roll her suit before she returns to work, but it's worth it as she hoists Lucky onto her lap.
For a few minutes, Ginia doesn't say much as she eats with him, enjoying the peaceful silence and private moment. But eventually, Ginia waves her hand at him to get his attention.]
Caster told me he found cursed charms at shrines in Ireland, but only at ones represented by someone in the Far Shore.
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Ginia's words bring Archer back to reality.]
Right, he sent me photos. Their influence reaches so far. [he pauses.] It's another argument towards at least one god or shinki aiding the leader or leaders of the cult.
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[It's more effort targeting specific shrines than targeting all the shrines in an area.]
It worries me, honestly, preparing for whatever is coming next. Wondering how many gods the cult have on their side.
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[Archer's frown deepens. It's like putting together a puzzle with only a few pieces in hand, while the big picture is still unrecognizable. Suddenly he turns to Ginia.]
What do you think about your current god?
[It's obvious he's not asking about Alex.]
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You better not be implying what it sounds like you're implying.
[There's the defensive attitude Archer probably knows, the protective streak that runs deep. She glares a little before softening. Archer isn't a fool. There are far better suspects around.]
I went to him back at the start of January seeking out information about the masked ayakashi Shun mentioned at Zelda's meeting and the demon we were investigating. His shinki were guarded and reluctant to get involved only because of the suspicion the Heavens already cast their way and they didn't want to get Ebisu involved. Ebisu, however, was insistent they led me their support because humans were already involved and hurt and he wouldn't stand for that.
He's a child in many ways, but he cares deeply about protecting humans. He takes his role seriously, and I also trust the shinki he surrounds himself with.
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I'm not implying anything. From all the outsiders you're living here, and are observant enough to notice small details. [he sighs and shakes his head. There's something else that he wants to ask.] Does he not mind nora?
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All his shinki are nora. Many of them for reasons beyond their control, but still stigmatized all the same.
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That's surprising, given the Heavens stance on nora. I was worried- [a pause, but then he continues with a sigh.] -that they may look down on you for choosing several gods. I'm glad it's not the case.
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[And they've suffered for it. Takami's dream is a haunting eye-opener to why Ebisu's temple is so woefully understaffed, a thing unlikely to change any time soon. For a second, she's angry at the Heavens, but her expression settles fast.]
I'm advised to keep things to myself in public though. A shinki of the new generation serving an old God of Fortune is alarming enough without me being a nora.